Wuv Twue Wuv, thats wat bwings us together today!

Yes this Imp is in luv!

I am not sure why or how it happened though I do know the place...it happened in the Art Museum on Saturday. He is quite the looker with eyes almost beyond description...they are a dark murky that seem endless. He seems to have a serious side that appeals to me whilst still having that "little boy" charm that is definitely warming to see. Just a few moments spent alone together, I knew I was in luv and that I had to find a way to spend more time with him.

He is not my usual style. I have had to ponder how he will fit in my life but I am very willing to compromise and rearrange so that he will not only fit but blend to perfection, making it seem like he has always been there. I am abit worried because of his availability. I think he may already be taken but it is hard to know for sure.

How did we meet, you ask. Well it was raining and the perfect time to be inside. There were many others around, some I noted some I did not, but I came around the corner and he caught my eye. I was entranced and captivated. I could not look away from him, this intense feeling of emotion passing through my form as I could not help and wonder if destiny had woven this moment in the fabric of time.

He is the silent type in his stance and demeanor. Many would tell you that silent types and this Imp do not mix, but he is definitely the exception. I must find a way to see him more, everyday if that is possible!

He will be mine, he must be mine! I am very afraid though....I will have to settle for a copy!

"Three for Five"

John George Brown - 1890

Ha ha, could not help the wordplay! I went to the Art Museum on Saturday and fell in luv with this painting.

If copies are sold I will own one!

Attack of the Black Thong prt2

And finally part two of the story:
AttackoftheBlackThong

"Exactly what I said! This has to be a joke." Marsha grabbed another swallow of her coke before heading back out of her cubicle. This was quickly becoming the winner for Bizarre Monday of the Month award. Perhaps she should have called in sick today it would have been great to remain snuggled under the covers with her husband by her side, cat at her shoulder and dog sprawled at the foot of the bed. She paused in step at that wonderful thought only to have Jamie bump into her from behind. Raising an eyebrow, she glanced over her shoulder at Jamie. Jamie grinned and shrugged her shoulders. "You didn't expect me to just sit there and wait did you? Consider this moral support." "More like nosey support." Marsha grinned and the two proceeded down the hall towards Darcy's.

They rounded the corner and again she paused in her step causing another collision from Jamie. There not five feet from her feet, in front of Darcy's office door was a crumpled piece of black material. She approached it with cautious steps as if it would attack at any moment, Jamie peering over her shoulder in the same fascinated daze.
"Oh good you are here. Now take that nasty thing away and next time keep your purse zipped!" Darcy's voice penetrated their dazed state causing Marsha and Jamie to look away from the thong and note Darcy's hands on hips stance and frown.
"Where do you get off with the idea it is mine!" Marsha frowned and looked back at the offending piece of material. "I don't wear butt floss." She snorted assuming the same pose as Darcy, emanating the attitude right back. Jamie choked on a laugh behind her, muttering something about butt floss. Darcy gasped and shook her finger. "You are the only one I could think of that would be brazen enough to carry such a scrap of nothing around in her purse."
"Darcy that is not mine and I am not going to argue with you about it." Marsha snorted and turned to Jamie, rolling her eyes. Jamie smirked and looked back to Darcy. "Oh don't even give me that look Darcy, I don't wear black. My husband likes the animal print on me." Jamie burst into laughter. It was Marsha's turn to choke on a laugh. "Ok that was TMI."

"What was TMI?" Alan Meirs appeared carrying his briefcase and walking towards his office which was next to Darcy's. "The fact that...oh Watch your Step!" Darcy's voice rose as she waved her finger at the black thong upon which Alan was about to step. Marsha and Jamie watched in comical amazement as Alan did a two step and hop dance, briefcase waving as a flamingo pose was struck, weaving of his upper torso as balance was sought to avoid stepping on the item about which Darcy was exclaiming. "What, what, what is it?" he looked around his briefcase to spot the popularity increasing thong. "Darcy's wild weekend spilled over into Monday." Marsha could not resist the jibe, since Darcy had been determined she was the owner. Darcy sputtered out a protest as Alan's lips spread into a teasing curve and one dark eybrow waggled in her direction. "Wow Darcy, never knew you were that kind of woman. You should have called us to join in the fun, my weekend was quite the bore."
"It..it is not mine! It is ...we are trying to discover who it belongs to!" Cheeks flaming red as she brushed bangs from her forehead in an absent motion, Darcy cleared her throat and stared at the thong in momentary silence.

Alan smirked and waved his briefcase towards the clump of satin. "Probably belongs to Agnus." He stepped around the thong and moved into his office, his laugh trailing behind him. "Agnus...the cleaning lady? Oh that is gross...she is old enough to be my grandmother!" Jamie's nose wrinkled as she squinted and stuck her tongue out. Shoulders shaking in a shudder, she stepped away. "Oh that is just too much, I think I actually hear Excel calling my name. Good luck Darcy." A hand snaked out to grab Marsha's arm and pull her as she moved them both off and back to their cubicle. Marsha gave the thong and Darcy one last look and then followed Jamie's tug. "Yeah good luck on finding the owner, Darcy."
Darcy stood there with a gaping look as everyone walked away and she was left with the thong still there in the same spot it had been for the last twenty minutes. "But...."

Across the hall:
So that is what happened to it! Eyes narrowed as they watched out the small crack in the door. If nosey Darcy would ever leave the opportunity would arise to snatch the thong and be rid of the evidence before anymore questions were asked. Things would get ugly if the truth of the origin of the black thong was revealed. Breath exhaled between teeth as the left foot tapped the carpet in a hurried rat-ta-tat pattern waiting for Darcy to give up in her self proclaimed quest to find the owner. A grunt given as Darcy finally moved back into her office, the door pushed open in a wary manner. Only four feet to snatch up the evidence and end this drama before it became a fiasco. A quick glance both ways as the thong is reached and back curving to stretch hand and grab the scrap of satin.

To be continued....

The Results are In

Ok so we have reached phase four of the illness- that lovely coughing, hacking up a lung, have to sleeping standing up to be able to breath, just enough fluid in your ears that every time you swallow your ears pop, and decongestants don't work any longer phase.
Since the first of January I have gotten to this phase at least three times, which usually getting to this phase is a good thing because it means you are on the road to recovery, BUT I relapse everytime! I get to phase four and instead of moving into phase five which is the "I AM HEALED!" phase I got straight back to phase 1.
I must say I should get "Patron of the Year" award because I have kept Kleenex in business the last two months for sure! Needless to say I totally blame all this for my not getting the part in The Fantasticks. Yes sadly enough I did not get the role I auditioned for, but...yes there is a but....I did get asked to be AD/Stage Manager which is an awesome opportunity! So I will be working with the play just will not be acting in it. I actually am excited about this because I have never been artistic director or stage manager before and though it will be alot of work it will be great on the resume for future shows! So I will tell more on that later.....

On to other things, now that I am finally healing (because I am determined not to relapse again) I will finally catch up on my stories I am supposed to be finishing: The Attack of the Black Thong, here on this blog and The Unexpected Christmas Present on my writing blog. My computers at home are both dead so I haven't been able to work on anything while at home. Though speaking of work I have to get back to that now, hopefully I can post something more fun or Impish later.

Title goes here again.

Ok so it is Friday and I am still sick :( Due to this illness I have not had the energy to finish the Black Thong mystery though I know many are waiting the next segment. I will get to it soon I promise. On a side note, I am auditioning for another play tomorrow.

For TheFantasticks , an absolutely wonderful musical that I actually performed about three or four years ago and have wanted to do again ever since! The only thing causing me a wee bit of strife about the audition tomorrow is this blasted cold, I have a cough and stuffy head which makes singing very hard and since this is a musical, and a theatre that has never heard me sing, this could pose a problem. But alas as usual this Imp is going to be optimistic, I have auditioned before with a frog sounding voice (another play, another cold) and gotten the part so it can happen again!

I ran across this strange thing called a Johari window which is a personality thingy and how others see you or something so I decided to give it a try. So if you just read my blog or if you know me in person as well, can ya click here and give it a try, lets see how you all see me compared to how I see myself. This is a short description of what is means:

Interpretation of Johari Window
The terms are plotted in a square grid divided along two axes into four quadrants. One axis represents Known/Not Known (to self), and the other represents Known/Not Known (to others).
Terms selected by both the subject and their peers are placed into the Arena quadrant, representing the fact that everyone involved knows these particular pieces of information about the subject individual; they have been openly communicated.
Terms selected only by the subject, but not by any of their peers, are placed into the Façade quadrant, representing information about the subject of which their peers are unaware. The choice is then up to the subject whether or not to self-disclose this set of information.
Terms that are not selected by the subject but only by their peers are placed into the Blind Spot quadrant. These represent information of which the subject is not aware, but others are, and they can decide whether and how to inform the individual about these "blind spots".
Terms which were not selected by either the subject or their peers remain in the Unknown quadrant, representing the subject's behaviors or motives which were not recognized by anyone participating. This may be because they do not apply, or because there is collective ignorance of the existence of that trait.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And last on the list is this funny joke The Mom sent me today:

FLAT TARR (PEOPLE FROM THE SOUTH WILL UNDERSTAND THIS.)
There was this fellow from East Tennessee who had a flat tire. He pulled
off on the side of the road,jumped out of his car, walked down the
hillside and picked a bunch
of wildflowers, and proceeded to put one bouquet of the flowers in front
of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned
around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied,"I have a flat tarr." In response the passerby asked,
"But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you breakdown
they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I
never did understand it neither."

Yes it is jokes like these that though they are funny, they undermine the Imp's rants of an educated South! Everybody have a great weekend and I will return hopefully rid of a cold, roled in a new play, and armed with the next segment of Attack of the Black thong!

Happy S.A.D.

To all those out there who hate the pink and red

who wake in the morning the only one in bed

To those who wrinkle their nose at the couple holding hands

Or avoid the romance movie and choose the action one instead.

To all of those whose bread gets moldy and their milk goes bad

From lapse of time and the solo consumption to be had.

To those who hate the term "buy one dinner get the second free"

Who among all the married folk, feels quite the anomaly.

To those who hate the question "So when will you be next?"

Which seems to be a standard at every family event.

To those who at weddings don't go for the bouquet

because the closet's full of past ones collected anyway.

To those who curl up on the couch and feel the cold dance down their spine

And wish and want and yearn and long and maybe even pine

For someone who would make the moment right and bright and gay

And give a reason for celebrating the (for now dreaded)

Valentines Day.

Do not be down, do not be sad

For happiness, even solo, is to be had

Just lift your head and smile to say

I will embrace my life on this day.

I will rejoice for I have money to do with what I want

'cause I did not have to buy to impress, address, or flaunt.

I do not have to worry about what he or she will think

Or worry with any item that is white or red or pink.

I do not have to put up with an overcrowded dinner

Or worry if the date I chose will turn out to be a winner.

No need to worry or stress about the "before we part" kiss

Or worry if it doesnt happen if something is amiss.

I can enjoy and relish in every possible way

that I get to celebrate the stress free

Singles Awareness Day!

Happy Singles Awareness Day!!

One more invention to promote singleness!

Ladies do you want to cuddle without the dreaded football game blaring in the background? Do you wish you could spend time snuggled close with an arm around you without the snoring? Do you long for that comfort without all the drama of "it is poker night" or "we cuddled last night"? You single ladies wish you could snuggle but don't have a guy?
Well long no more, ladies for here is your answer...the Manillow! I see that look and no I am not talking about the singer but the latest and greatest from our friends overseas....the man pillow! No more worries about having to keep in his favor to be able to snuggle, with your Manillow you can cuddle anytime you want and his arm will never let you go! No more poker nights or snoring nights to keep you from your relaxation and enjoyment, with the Manillow you can have hours of snuggle time without any interruptions or protests. And it comes in three different shirt shades!
Yes this Manillow is exactly what you have been looking for but wait...there is more! Order your new Manillow in the next ten minutes and we will send you this latest and greatest in footwear...the Footbrella! Do you hate spending alot of money on the latest shoes only to have them ruined in the rain? Worry no more with the Footbrella! This is a $40 value for FREE!
Most places would charge $80, $90 even up to $100 dollars for this product but it can be yours through this special order for just two easy payments of $19.99!
So do not wait, call now and order you Manillow along with your free pair of Footbrellas! Hurry while supplies last! 1-800-MANILLOW Call today!

URGULLIBLE Inc. and it s subsidiaries hold no responsibility for lack of true affection from pillows. Manillow is not true replacement for apartner in any kind of relationship. Footbrella's will not protect shoes from puddles. Purchase is optional and non-refundable. Void where prohibited.

Rants on the portrayal of the southern accent and lifestyle!!

Ahh my faithful readers, I promise you the rest of the black thong story is coming soon, but unfortunately I have had a very hectic few days and have been unable to sit down and type the rest out. The last few days are a story within themselves.

This weekend a few girlfriends and I had a "Girl's Retreat" weekend and had a blast....in more ways than one. Friday night was spent forgoing diet plans and indulging on ice cream and chocolate whilst watching Sweet Home Alabama ( a befitting movie since tis where we live) and hearing comments from our very own Special Ann such as : "I would make the funniest hampster." or "I feel like a turtle on the back of my shell." We love Special Ann...she is even more random than this Imp.

Now first I must detour for a moment and discuss the movie we watched. Why is it that Hollywood cannot seem to understand that though some do...not everybody in the south speaks like they are illiterate, backwood hicks! Good grief! As an amateur actress and a southern bred woman it offends me that Hollywood cannot research enough to portray a proper southern accent on screen! They will spend millions of dollars on a set and computer animation but will not spend some time researching the truth about southern dialects?
And not just the accent but the portrayal of women in the south. For those of my readers who have never lived in or even been to the southern area of the states...We do NOT all stand around with ugly dresses that look homemade with a baby on our hip, hair looking greasy, talking "like we dun never gots an educashun because we gots pregnant by Billy" That is the one thing that miffs me the most about Sweet Home Alabama. The character Melanie is the only one wearing stylish clothes, driving a stylish car, with a cute new haircut that she could have only managed to get because she moved up north! What a bunch of %&*$!
I am not denying that we have people like that but there are even more of us who dress in the latest styles, drive the latest cars, and wear the cute hairstyles...
YES our roads ARE paved!
YES we have real stores and real traffic!
YES we may go barefoot in the summer but not necessarily in overalls....you come deal with the humidity we have here and see if your shoes don't come off!
NO we do not all sit around with babies on our hips surrounded by four others that are also our children.
YES I am proud to be southern and proud of my accent but I do NOT sound like a uneducated imbecile!
YES we have sweet, iced tea and it is great stuff, don't knock it until you try it!
YES some of us still have front or back porches where we sit and swing or rock while chatting with our loved ones but that is called Quality Family Time....not being lazy and uneducated!
UGH UGH UGH I am going to film a documentary one day that is called "The South: Southern Style" instead of Hollywood style!

Whew..ok now that the ranting is done...let us totally change speeds to Saturday night when I felt as if I were in an action movie because my passenger side window exploded! Oy! One little window made a really BIG mess. It had already been broken for quite some time but the part that was broken was down in the door so I had managed to wedge it back up into place and was leaving it for the time being. Well my friend did not know such a thing so she tried to roll it down which had this Imp immediately slamming on brakes and yelling No no no no no! Unfortunately the "Nonononono" made her try to roll it back up and suddenly BAM the window exploded like it had been hit by a bullet. Glass went everywhere, on top of the car, in the car, on the trunk of the car, in the backseat of the car, and all over the parking lot.
Oy Oy Oy! This Imp was upset! Not upset at the friend but at the situation as a whole. Did it break on the week where we had been experiencing very warm weather reaching into the 70's? Did it break when I could get it fixed that day or the next? Ohhh nooo of course not, it exploded at 11 o'clock on a Saturday night when we are supposed to be having sleet/snow weather over the next few days for the first time all winter! UGH!
It was a very cold ride back to drop the friends off then head to the world of Walmart to find some plastic to keep the elements, animals, and people (hopefully) out of my car. I am glad no one thought it strange this Imp walking in at almost midnight with a bloody rag on my hand asking for plastic covering. Something I learned from all this: Plastic is very loud!
Ohh it hurt my ears it was so loud when driving. I went back to Walmart on Sunday and purchased shrinkwrap and wrapped up the window, only using the plastic when at home to keep the icy weather out. Never fear though my loyal readers, the window is being repaired as we speak so no more shrinkwrap or plastic for a while....a long while I hope!

And last but not least....to top all this off I am ill. I almost fainted Sunday night having sweats and vision blurring, then Monday woke up with sniffles and ugh feel, today it is starting to bloom out with full cold symptoms and fever to top it! Whoohoo....so now you see why the black thong story is delayed, plus I had to rant abit first ;)
So I must go for now but I will return to finish our lingerie saga!