A Mother's Love....

The older I get the more I am shown how blessed I am to have the parents that I do. I have a great relationship with both of my parents who have been married to each other for 37 plus years. I consider The Mom one of my best friends and love the fact that I am so close to her.

As a child she was the disciplinarian because she stayed home with us so, though I loved her, I wouldn’t say she was my “favorite” parent at the time. As I got older we grew closer and I began to appreciate the disciplinarian that she used to be and the fountain of wisdom that she is now.

When I graduated from college I knew I could no longer stay in my home town because of many reasons, the main one being I knew my husband was somewhere else. It was a bittersweet move because there I was with my future bright and open ahead of me but leaving my best friend. I am sure if asked she would say I ran off and abandoned her without even a pause, but I did and still do miss being able to see her everyday.

Since I met Sexy Husband and we decided to settle where we are, which as you all know from previous posts is also where my brother and his family reside, I have been nagging The Mom about moving here. I, selfishly, want her near me so we can see each other more. Also I want her here for in the future when I start my family. I want my children to be able to know and adore their grandmother as much as I do.

Up until this point, The Mom has been quite adamant about not leaving the only place she has ever called home. She was born and raised in the city where she presently resides and it is all she has ever known. She has her soul-mate, her church, her dream home and her best friend. I completely understand her arguments. I may not agree with them, but I understand them.

Recently she has said she will pack up her dream house, sell it, and move from the only place she has called home to a new city to be near her children and grandchildren. I cannot even put into words how absolutely, deliriously happy I am about that. I want to cry at the sacrifice she is making for her children, once again proving what an awesome woman she is. I can only hope and pray I turn out to be half the woman/wife/mother that she is.

Now I know some readers might roll their eyes or gag at such sentiments but in this day and age where so many mothers could care less about their children, abandon their children, even murder their children; I consider her actions to be highly commendable.
Do we always agree? No. Do I think she is perfect? No, no one is. Do I ever roll my eyes at her? Yes. That is part of being mother/child or just plain human. I do, though, know how to appreciate the things that she does for me that are beyond what many “mothers” out there would do.

So this is one of my ways of saying thank you to The Mom for making the decision and sacrifice for us. I cannot wait to get you over here so we can do little things like go to Hobby Lobby, or eat Mexican for lunch. I cannot wait until I come over to your house for “coffee” in the mornings like we used to do with Grammy. I cannot wait to perhaps sing in the choir again and have you cheat off my notes for church. I cannot wait for that midnight call that says “Get to the hospital! We are having a baby!” and to hear you tell me what a wuss I am because I don’t handle pain like you do. I cannot wait to have my best friend and one of my biggest heroes near me again!


p.s. The Dad is loved just as much but this post was specifically for The Mom.

Funny little things...

I am closing in on my 28^th birthday this year but it amazes me how I still have so many “childlike” things that I still like to do.

For example, in autumn, I simple cannot resist playing in the leaves. They lay there in such vibrant colors, blanketing the ground just begging to be shuffled through or thrown in the air. I usually can resist the urge to throw them in the air but I never can resist the urge to walk through the drifts of yellow, orange, red and brown, kicking my feet to cause the crinkling, crunching fluttering of them around me.

I always have to pick up one or two and keep them in sight at my desk or in my car to enjoy until they are so dry they fall apart in ashes. I just adore the changing color of the leaves!

Another example is the cart at the grocery store. I find myself constantly giving it a good push and hopping on to ride it, especially in the parking lot. I mimic the noise of a blinker when turning onto another aisle or “beep” when I am backing up in an aisle. Now I don’t do it loudly, more to myself, but still I do it! I cannot help it, most of the time it is involuntary.

When I am at home, in socks, walking down the hall I have to slide. Why waste such good hardwood floor friction, right?

When I mop or sweep, the mop/broom is my dancing partner and we swirl around like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

At restaurants, I ask for the child menu just so I can color and do the puzzles.

I have a really hard time “looking with my eyes not my hands” when I am in stores.

Etcetera. Etcetera. Etcertera.

I do believe I have the Peter Pan Syndrome!

Time for another rant....

And so it begins. Every year at this time is when I get excited yet also begin to twitch. I love the holidays, always have loved the holidays, but there are pieces of the holidays that get on my nerve.

I have posted in recent years different rants about Rudolph, Salvation Army Bell, and Christmas music before Thanksgiving. This year I am going to revisit my Thanksgiving rant.

Now I just want to note that I adore Christmas, especially given that it is the celebration of my Saviors birth and my eternal hope.

Being American I also appreciate Thanksgiving and as Ecclesiastes 5:1 says “There is a time for everything.”

So

CHILL OUT WITH THE CHRISTMAS STUFF BEFORE THANKSGIVING!!!!!

Now I can somewhat understand early marketing for Christmas decorations and such given that it allows consumers a longer period of time over which they can buy…

But

That does not mean we have to start playing Christmas music the first weekend of November. Nor does it mean that we should not have Thanksgiving items available except at one or two stores two weeks before Thanksgiving but instead having Christmas crap everywhere!

Christmas Crap: noun: definition: Items pertaining to the commercialization of Christmas and fictional characters of Santa Claus, Rudolph and Frosty.

I don’t even think I mind that you wouldn’t have Pilgrims and Indians now but Anglo-Saxon invaders and Innocent Native Americans because of the PC overrule of the world these days. At least that would be better than completely ignoring one of this nation’s founding holidays!!! And yes I know it was not a federal holiday until 1941 but it was celebrated long before that so zip it!

Give Thanksgiving a break people! It already has to compete with the candy and costumes of Halloween and presents and glitter of Christmas without being completely crushed out of existence.

Embrace the orange, yellow, green and brown! Revel in the turkey, dressing, and pumpkin pie! Enjoy leaves, acorns, bales of hay and cornucopias! Wear belt buckles on your hat and large white aprons! Wear braids, feathers and moccasins! Sit back full to the brim and enjoy the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade! Enjoy Thanksgiving Day to the fullest and go to bed thinking you will never eat that much again!

Then…and only then…the next day you can haul out Santa and all his friends.

First Cry of Life

This last Thursday morning I witnessed, or technically heard, one of the most beautiful earthly miracles with which God blessed us: the birth of a child.

I tear up even now at the wonderment at such a moment. As I stood in that hospital hallway I was surrounded by the full cycle of life. Somewhere in that building someone was dying, but there in front of me, my niece was being born.

Even not being her mother, when that first gargled cry rent through the air it pierced right into my heart. That feeling was absolutely indescribable and my pathetic attempt to put it into words will never do it justice.

I blubbered in the hall listening to the lusty cries that were the trumpet sound for a glorious miracle. For if you really give the birth of a child thought it is indeed a miracle. From conception to birth so many things have to happen just correctly and fall into place guided by God's hand that it is nothing short of a miracle.

My emotions only soared higher when that bundled little weeble wobble of a baby was placed in my arms. Her little lower lip sticking out to pout before she gave a cry as if to tell me of the horrors she had been put through to get here. Those unfocused eyes crinkling in the corners as she cried at the loss of her warm, cozy place and close, life-giving bond to her mother. Soft, smooth skin flushed with the warmth of life and amazingly clear to have just been born. Fingers so tiny they could not possibly be real. People who say they do not believe in love at first sight, have never held a baby the day it was born!

It is almost scary how quickly you can love and fiercely want to protect someone you have just met, someone whose personality has not even had time to develop, and voice has not been heard. Yet here she is and love her I do....

Princess Penguin
Born November 5, 2009
8 lbs and 1 oz
20 inches long

Autumn

Today when I stepped out to head to cube-hell I had to pause and take a deep breath. It was cool! My skin actually felt chilled! What a wonderful feeling! Autumn is approaching, my favorite time of year!

I love when the air gets crisp, the leaves start turning and you get that Mary Poppins skip to your step! It is the time that starts you thinking about Halloween, Thanksgiving and then Christmas! I enjoy summer but I have to say Autumn and Winter are my favorites!

I am itching to get my long sleeved shirts, boots, and hats out and ready to wear! I think they are more comfortable and cozy than most of the summer clothing. I guess here in the south it is soooooo hot in the summer you don't even want your clothes on so they are not exactly favored, but in the winter it is just cold enough to snuggle into that long sleeved sweater, brushing the soft fuzziness across your cheek as you are curled on the couch, sipping hot cocoa and reading a good book! Then again it is probably just me :)

Either way I am uber glad Autumn is on its way!

Yes I said uber glad :)

Until next time...

October is around the corner....

So October is almost here and you know what that means....Halloween!

I have already begun planning my second annual Halloween party. I already have many of my decorations, re-using some from last year and obtaining new ones. The earlier the better because it is better pickings.

The big question for now though is...What will be my costume?!?

Last year I was a pirate and Sexy Husband was my "treasure". I am having a hard time deciding what to be this year. I love to dress up in costumes and since I do not do as much acting anymore, Halloween is prime opportunity. The problem is there are so many options!!

Any suggestions?

I will update when I figure it out!

Until next time...

The dilemma of depression

I am fighting depression.

There you have it.

I experience life through my emotions. I admit it. I am an emotional creature. I usually am a vivacious, creative, life loving person ....until recently.

I am constantly tired, have an underlying blah or sadness in my gut, and just no desire to do anything...like blog.

I am finally saying something on here because as another blog's post reminded me, this is My blog. I write on here for me first, the possible audience is a perk. I am already struggling to write anything and have been moping away even more for fear of "bothering" my readers with "unhappy" posts.

Well sorry readers but this post will not be happy.

Don't get me wrong, I can laugh, I can enjoy a day and have a good ole time. It is just underneath it all is this ever present "sadness" for lack of a better word. I cry at everything and my poor husband is wondering what he married.

To add to it I have a layer of guilt on top of the sadness.

Why you ask?

Because I have absolutely no reason whatsoever to be depressed! Which makes it even more depressing! Vicious cycle!


I am calling my doctor tomorrow. We shall see what can be done.

I don't like this....I want the funny, vivacious, creative girl back!