Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Rants on the portrayal of the southern accent and lifestyle!!

Ahh my faithful readers, I promise you the rest of the black thong story is coming soon, but unfortunately I have had a very hectic few days and have been unable to sit down and type the rest out. The last few days are a story within themselves.

This weekend a few girlfriends and I had a "Girl's Retreat" weekend and had a blast....in more ways than one. Friday night was spent forgoing diet plans and indulging on ice cream and chocolate whilst watching Sweet Home Alabama ( a befitting movie since tis where we live) and hearing comments from our very own Special Ann such as : "I would make the funniest hampster." or "I feel like a turtle on the back of my shell." We love Special Ann...she is even more random than this Imp.

Now first I must detour for a moment and discuss the movie we watched. Why is it that Hollywood cannot seem to understand that though some do...not everybody in the south speaks like they are illiterate, backwood hicks! Good grief! As an amateur actress and a southern bred woman it offends me that Hollywood cannot research enough to portray a proper southern accent on screen! They will spend millions of dollars on a set and computer animation but will not spend some time researching the truth about southern dialects?
And not just the accent but the portrayal of women in the south. For those of my readers who have never lived in or even been to the southern area of the states...We do NOT all stand around with ugly dresses that look homemade with a baby on our hip, hair looking greasy, talking "like we dun never gots an educashun because we gots pregnant by Billy" That is the one thing that miffs me the most about Sweet Home Alabama. The character Melanie is the only one wearing stylish clothes, driving a stylish car, with a cute new haircut that she could have only managed to get because she moved up north! What a bunch of %&*$!
I am not denying that we have people like that but there are even more of us who dress in the latest styles, drive the latest cars, and wear the cute hairstyles...
YES our roads ARE paved!
YES we have real stores and real traffic!
YES we may go barefoot in the summer but not necessarily in overalls....you come deal with the humidity we have here and see if your shoes don't come off!
NO we do not all sit around with babies on our hips surrounded by four others that are also our children.
YES I am proud to be southern and proud of my accent but I do NOT sound like a uneducated imbecile!
YES we have sweet, iced tea and it is great stuff, don't knock it until you try it!
YES some of us still have front or back porches where we sit and swing or rock while chatting with our loved ones but that is called Quality Family Time....not being lazy and uneducated!
UGH UGH UGH I am going to film a documentary one day that is called "The South: Southern Style" instead of Hollywood style!

Whew..ok now that the ranting is done...let us totally change speeds to Saturday night when I felt as if I were in an action movie because my passenger side window exploded! Oy! One little window made a really BIG mess. It had already been broken for quite some time but the part that was broken was down in the door so I had managed to wedge it back up into place and was leaving it for the time being. Well my friend did not know such a thing so she tried to roll it down which had this Imp immediately slamming on brakes and yelling No no no no no! Unfortunately the "Nonononono" made her try to roll it back up and suddenly BAM the window exploded like it had been hit by a bullet. Glass went everywhere, on top of the car, in the car, on the trunk of the car, in the backseat of the car, and all over the parking lot.
Oy Oy Oy! This Imp was upset! Not upset at the friend but at the situation as a whole. Did it break on the week where we had been experiencing very warm weather reaching into the 70's? Did it break when I could get it fixed that day or the next? Ohhh nooo of course not, it exploded at 11 o'clock on a Saturday night when we are supposed to be having sleet/snow weather over the next few days for the first time all winter! UGH!
It was a very cold ride back to drop the friends off then head to the world of Walmart to find some plastic to keep the elements, animals, and people (hopefully) out of my car. I am glad no one thought it strange this Imp walking in at almost midnight with a bloody rag on my hand asking for plastic covering. Something I learned from all this: Plastic is very loud!
Ohh it hurt my ears it was so loud when driving. I went back to Walmart on Sunday and purchased shrinkwrap and wrapped up the window, only using the plastic when at home to keep the icy weather out. Never fear though my loyal readers, the window is being repaired as we speak so no more shrinkwrap or plastic for a while....a long while I hope!

And last but not least....to top all this off I am ill. I almost fainted Sunday night having sweats and vision blurring, then Monday woke up with sniffles and ugh feel, today it is starting to bloom out with full cold symptoms and fever to top it! Whoohoo....so now you see why the black thong story is delayed, plus I had to rant abit first ;)
So I must go for now but I will return to finish our lingerie saga!


TJ said...

My dearest Imp,
What a weekend, eh? You certainly did have lots going on. I'm glad I could be there to share some of it with you- the good, the bad, and the ugly. Hugs and kisses to you. I hope you are better very, very soon.
Much Love,

David said...

needa git ya sum uh dat cheekin nodle sope puts ur mind offa thangs ti ya gits bater ill take it tu howrt wut u sayed bout us suthners

ps JUST KIDDING! Ya'll's weekend made a great story. Yes, I said ya'll's