Thursday, July 19, 2012

You know you are eight months pregnant when....

You know you are eight month pregnant when...
Warning some of these may be TMI :)
  • You have been in the shower for 15 minutes, washed your hair, washed your face, shaved your underarms, go to soap the rest of your body and realize the place under your bump is still dry. 
  • You realize how short your arms are because it is so stinking hard to wipe!
  • Your cat gives you a look of disdain as if to say "lay off the cookies, woman!" when he tries to lay in your ever shrinking lap
  • You have to grunt so much to move you begin to wonder about your relation to a hog.
  • Even if you have never taken anatomy you know where every major organ in your body is because it has been punched, kicked, headbutted, kneed or elbowed. 
  • You do not "roll" over in bed anymore at night, you "heave" over in bed.
  • When trying to "heave" over in bed at night, you understand how a bug stuck on it's back feels.
  • You have to look in a mirror to see your private areas.
  • You try to show your husband something beside you and he has to lean way forward to see around you.
  • You could care less that it is "unladylike" to sit back in a chair with your legs spread open because it is the only comfortable way to sit.
  • You get punched from within the gut if you try to slump over while sitting at your computer.
  • When you drop something the thought of just leaving it there does cross your mind because the act of picking it back up is equivalent to one bootcamp exercise workout.
  • You realize that you should have invested in toilet paper stock before you got pregnant.
  • You know you need to "stay hydrated" but realize to do this properly you might as well just live on the toilet.
  • Feeling as if you are about to explode means you really only have three drops to tinkle.
  • You knew your "Girls" were going to change but didn't realize they were going to try to race to the floor.
  • You cannot believe you ONLY have two months left at the same time as you cannot believe you STILL have two months left!
  • You are increasingly glad you do not have the gestational period of an elephant!
Oh I have many more but that is enough for tonight :) Got to go "heave" into bed!
Until Next Time...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

you for sure hit some of the high points, there are a few left that come on that "last" month but i won't tell you what they are, you will find out soon enough-lol mama

Amanda said...

So glad to know I'm not the only one whose arms shrunk when the belly grew!! LOL!! And I'm quite a bit taller than you!

charlotte said...

Thanks for the "reminder" of the easier time of being a mommy!!! Just wait until she gets here... Can't wait to hear the funny stuff then!! :)