Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Baby Journey with PCOS : Living without Lexapro

I shall preface this article to say I am not whining about this fact of my life at the moment, I am glad to do anything to keep Baby H healthy, I am just stating that it is not necessarily easy.

I am pretty sure I have posted on here before that I have depression. Some of it is due to the fact I have PCOS and some of it is inherited from my father's side of the family. When I was younger it was not bad at all, a day or two every few months, but as I got older and my hormones changed so did the depression.
About a year into our marriage, SH and I agreed something needed to be done because it was drastically affecting me and the enjoyment that should have been our marriage. I went to my doctor and started on Lexapro.

My symptoms usually were
  • Antisocial behavior - I did not want to leave the house, did not want to talk to people, just felt blah and wanted to lay on the couch or bed which is odd for me since I am such a social butterfly
  • Anxiety/Negative Thought Dwelling - This one is a bit hard to explain if you have never experienced it but I would start thinking about something, dwell on it, and spiral down into an unending negative mind game that would not end, even when I was trying to sleep.
  • Mood swings/Irritability - I would go from being fine to snapping people's head off in mere moments. (Poor SH!)

But then came Lexapro and oh what a marvelous thing! It changed things to be so much better! My moods leveled, I enjoyed being a social butterfly again, and my mind quieted!

Well you know how they say "You do not realize what a good thing you've got until it is gone."

Oh but I have been discovering this since January because....

I cannot take Lexapro while I am pregnant. It is bad enough that a woman is moody/hormonal when pregnant but take away her Lexapro and things can get a bit ugly!

Now I am the first person to say "Suck it up and move on, Sistah!" but unless you have had depression you just cannot understand that some days the "Get up and Go" has gone somewhere else. And unfortunately all of my symptoms have returned in some form or fashion.

I have to say I am very thankful that I can stop my meds and survive so that Baby H will be healthy. I will do it all over again if I am blessed with a second pregnancy. It could be a lot worse!

Luckily from what I have read and been told so far, I will be able to start taking it immediately after giving birth, even if breastfeeding, which is very good news!

I would say one positive thing is that I have been uber mellow during this pregnancy when it come to excitement which is a very good thing since both The Mom and The MIL have been plenty excited for all of us!

So here is to 153 days left of living without Lexapro!

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