Sunday, November 20, 2005

Inner Battle

Another day! Time to spend with friends. I love my new friends. Yes but do they truly like you? Shut up, no room for negativity today. Hmm I will be quiet for now, but.... But, but, ha just stay quiet I have things to do! Ok we are ready to go, nice scarf don't ya think? Sad attempt at distraction from the rest of the deal. I should have known better than to ask you, lets go.

Oh look a good group, this should be fun! Plenty of people to see you act stupid. I thought you were going to be quiet? Besides this is going to be great! Loads of fun! Fine, mum is my motto...for now. Smile, laughter, fun, twinkle, sparkle! Food, fun, friends...sometimes life is grand just because of little things like this. Oh that was funny! Uh oh, someone said that? It was misconstrued, that was not how I meant it, it was in humor! And another point in the "fool" area for you. Told you to keep your mouth shut, but do you listen to me, nope. Oh hush, I will explain, laugh it off, smooth it over, tis a mere accident with no ill feelings behind, no big deal. See everyone is smiling. I love to see people smile, so much to frown at these days....like your antics....SO much to frown at these days that it is nice to see smiles! You are too young to be here, you don't act your age, why did you come to this? Go home, it is useless, it will be just like last time, like every other place, just go home. Hush! Just be quiet! That is what I have been telling you for years, just hush! Be quiet! That is not how I am though, I am vivacious! You are loud. I am outgoing! You are a conversation hog! I am fun! You are annoying! Silly, ridiculous, and a joke! Oh............gosh.........well...........maybe I could sit quiet for a moment. Finally, now how about you just leave...you know you cannot sit quiet for long, better leave while you can. Oh perhaps you are right...lets go see the boys...they like silly and fun...Of course, children usually do...keyword...children....Shut up! I am leaving, you win!

A new day! Here we go again, ugh. Oh hush today will be a better day, I stayed home last night like you asked. Oh I love this class, these kids are so great and cute! I love teaching them. Now time to learn for ourselves, the lessons are always great! Just remember the rules...Be Quiet! No, am not going to not say anything, have to make people feel welcome, no need to be rude, it is a gift to be able to talk to anybody...a gift? ha! annoyance more like it...Oh good grief you are starting awful early this morning aren't you? I have to start early before you make us look like a fool again...as usual....Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed...now I am going to smile...new people in the class! Just be quiet and lets love them, everyone needs that....not from you though...Hush! You know I think this is going to be a great day and great lesson....I have to remember to read the verses before I come back next week, better preparation for sure...Hmm interesting point...perhaps it means this....Oh dear, I said too much...the story of your life....well I guess I could have made my point with a fewer number of words...I will just make sure I stay abit more short in answer and comment...OH! oh no oh no...oh dear...I didn't realize the pen was like that....Great going, put the pen down, perhaps you should have brought a crayon from the four year old class....It didn't mark..it is ok..I will just keep it turned around...perhaps I should just sit quietly though....the first thing you have said all day that is smart! ....Well ok...maybe I am overreacting...I should just let it roll off of me...just be quiet.....but I will just say this one thing....Just Be Quiet....well perhaps this one thing, I truly think it means something....JUST Be Quiet....well, but...this is me, this is how I am, why does it turn so many people away, why does it make me feel happy but stupid at the same time? ...JUST BE Quiet.....I don't understand, I can't be somber and serious all the time, I am Vivacious...loud... Outgoing...conversation hog...Fun...ridiculous...,no! no! that is me, it is how I am, how I express myself, it is how I relate...it is who I am...it is who I am....isn't it? ....should I change?....well maybe I should....Grow up!...Maybe I should just be.... quiet.

3 comments:

TJ said...

Ephesians 6:18-20
With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Imp,
I look forward to every time I get to hear you speak because of the wisdom and laughter you bring with your words. Remember that in this war, what you say is as important as what you do. Your words are part of your arsenal and the enemy does not want you to speak up. He does not want you to build relationships, encourage your fellow soldiers, and speak out for the Lord. Continue to open your mouth. Continue to use your voice for the Lord. Continue to be heard. I would rather hear you than some old, dirty rock.

T

Julie Ann said...

Imp,
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.....I enjoy being around your energy and if I don't I will leave to allow your energy to rub off on someone else until I need another refill :)We cannot control others so let them make up their own minds about who you are and if they truly are looking with the eyes of the Holy Spirit they will see you for who you are in Christ. Silence those voices in your head with the Word and with prayer....and when you feel led to be quiet, you will, and if you don't, you won't, and if you do feel led and you don't, then it is still ok. Your voice speaking up on 11/13/05 was the voice God used to help reaffirm my decision to make a move that is uncomfortable for me yet I feel called to make. Praise God for you,Mel!

Ameratis said...

Thanks and love to you both! It is not always easy to be an Imp and this weekend did work on this Imp's emotions abit, but I have pulled through and triumphed again! And along the way God has shown me what beautiful and loving friends He has given me in the last few weeks! I can't wait to see what He teaches us through each other. Love and hugs!