Friday, November 18, 2005

Another Sign

BEWARE....Beware my fellow Thanksgiving lover, Holiday rush haters...another sign that this time of chaos is approaching the increasing speed of a steam locomotive was seen today!!! THE BELLS...OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH the bells!! This Imp had to go, once again, to Walmart to get ingredients for the desserts to be made for the party tomorrow and there it was...wearing a SANTA hat and ringing the bell..........AHHHHH the Salvation Army volunteer! Little red bucket, ding ding ding of the annoying little bell, the santa hat though IT HASNT BEEN THANKSGIVING YET! Now this Imp totally understands it is for a good cause, and I do enjoy giving though I enjoy giving year round....but that bell. It incites within this Imp a sudden frantic desire to rush up and grab the bell, run out into traffic and slam it down on the concrete and watch as a large eighteen wheeler comes zooming by, feeling the gush of wind across my face as I watch in glee as the bell is obliverated underneath the large wheels of the vehicle! The thought itself of such actions creates feelings almost akin to that of receiving a hug from a loved one or opening a much wanted birthday gift.....yes yes I know tis abit extreme and not very polite...but why do we need a bell to call us to give? Hmm something to ponder.

Next topic: holiday shopping. OY OY OY OY OY! This Imp has already decided to go this very weekend and get every bit of holiday shopping, this decision was made in a very hectic moment when trying to reach powdered sugar and eighteen people and their carts were crowded in the same aisle, pushing and shoving to reach their own desired product. Little old ladies walking the aisle like they drive their cars: in the middle and very slowly! Bless their hearts and my clausterphobia! Almost started hyperventilating right in Walmart!!
It is strange how even though I strive to be polite at all times, when I get cornered or clustered like that an evil takes over my Imp form and makes me want to scream GET OUT OF MY WAY BEFORE I RUN YOU ALL OVER! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! ALL I WANT IS SOME STUPID POWDERED SUGAR TO MAKE A STUPID CAKE FOR A STUPID FOOTBALL GAME THAT I DON"T EVEN REALLY CARE IF IT IS ON!!!! KILL KILL KILL!! (the powdered sugar of course, not people!) Of course this evil does not speak the truth because I wouldn't run anybody over, nor do I think the cake stupid....the football game? well....hmmm...but I do want to make the cake and go to the fun so alas the evil was fortunately tampered and I escaped before becoming a rather beserk Imp.
Moral of this story: From now until second week in January this Imp will go grocery shopping and such after 11 p.m. only!


Anonymous said...

It's true, I was there. The signs - they're everywhere.

The Baz said...

My sentiments exactly regarding the bells! As for the supermarket freakout... thats how I feel 95% of the time I go shopping... the supermarkets here in Britain are so ridiculously claustrophobic that one wonders if Aliens are gonna start leaping out of some old grannies' stomach!