Thursday, May 7, 2009

It's your call kid.

*Warning* This post is somewhat stream of thought, it doesn't flow well.

A Facebook friend just posted this link earlier which caught my eye and my thoughts.

It's your call kid

It seems it is the latest fad of "alternative" parenting. It deals with all parts of the family being equal and the expulsion of the hierarchy "roles".

I have been a babysitter, daycare worker, and nanny so I have been privy to many different forms of "how to deal with a child". I have come to the conclusion that indeed every child is different so tweaks sometimes must be made to the "uniform" idea of parenting. I believe in "spare the rod, spoil the child" I was spanked as a child and I proudly say there is nothing wrong with me. Of course, I also warrant that my personality was the type that spankings were needed and worked. I did not easily quail as a child so "time-out" would have been useless on me. I have known children that a mere "look" and a "stern talking to" works.

In this form of parenting mentioned in the article I do wonder how a child learns any sense of authority? If they are always allowed to have their own way, how will they ever survive in a world where you cannot always get what you want? (but if you try sometimes, you get what you need) Sorry random lyric thought.

Seriously though how will these children learn that just because they "don't want to" or "want it their way" doesn't mean it is going to happen. It seems that this will be a disastrous version of "only child syndrome"

Though a bit extreme what happens when Little Johnny decides he wants to "express himself" and "be his own person" by doing drugs, drinking and driving, killing someone who made him angry? Will his "buddy sperm donor" (because he is not a "dad") sit down with him and try to reason nicely on why he should not do these things? Or moreso will he sit on the other side of the pexiglass and say through the phone "Little Johnny, why did you do this? You were supposed to make the rational decision because I let you be your own person from day one"

Another stream of thought is why do these parents (and I loosely use that term) seem to think their child has the right to "no rules" when everyone, even the parents, has rules applied in their life. You don't come to work, you get fired. You don't pay your taxes, you go to jail. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera!

I can see it now, 10 years down the road, my impette whines to me that Little Johnny's mom doesn't make him abide by the rules, lets him be his own person, and lets him express himself. And I, like The Mom before me, will answer "Well I am not Little Johnny's mom" and then think "and thanks heavens for that!"

Until next time...


Anonymous said...

boy i did something right with you honey i am proud of you
love ya lots

Breazy said...

I have to agree with you on this. Forget the "let the kids have their way all the time" and "being my childs friend is more important" stuff out these days. My children are disciplined and they know I am their friend but first and foremost I am their parent.

Dr. Phil must have had a show on about this subject the other day because my Mother-in-law was telling my husband that we should have watched it so we could learn from it, my husband told her to mind her own darned business!

Have a good day!

Anonymous said...

So these "parents" crave approval, so they allow their children anything they please. Meanwhile, they are raising a me-centered generation of narcissists who have a scewed world-view. Unfortunately, one of these days one me-centered narcissist is going to clash with another, and 1 of them will come out the loser to catastrophic consequences. These children are much better served by parents who teach the lesson that life sucks sometimes, and it's not always fair. But suck it up and get through the crap, and something good awaits on the other side. These kids have no idea how to appreciate the good stuff in their lives, b/c they don't experience the crap.