Monday, June 26, 2006

Good news, promises, and ranting raves

So I was going to write a Father's Day hooplah and then I thought to myself "Why do I have to have this one day to show my Dad I love him when I can use everyday?" OK OK Fine! I didn't really say that I just forgot. I went home to see him so wasn't with my computer to write something and then when I got home I forgot. Anyway! That is the past, time to press on to the future.

I have terrific news, I got a new job! Hooray for the Imp! And what is even better it is two stoplights from where I live, double hooray!! My present 45 minute commute will be down to 10 minutes of commute! Everyone do the happy dance.

Now here is the promise: I promise to my dear T-Liscious, who is now on her way to adventures in the west, that I will have the next segment and/or conclusion to the Attack of the Black Thong by this Friday June 30th. And to the rest of the Black Thong fans...stay tuned!

Rant and Raves:

I have discovered yet another good blog to read titled Door's Rant and Rave which I discovered from my ever favorite Mark Leslie. On Door's blog today was a post about deffective products and one of the mentioned ones was M&M's. I do not want to belittle any seriousness he might have with his rants about the M&M's but I was laughing at it and having to stifle the laughter with my hand since I am in cubiworld where loud noises are frowned upon and can sometimes send other cubiworld prisoners into a teeth gnashing, hair pulling, wailing frenzy which is quite a sight to behold...oh sorry back to M&M' Door had a quite funny story about how he called to complain about his defective M&M's and they hung up on him. Which led me into my rant and then led me to another....conspiracy theory!! *Cue conspiracy theory music*

It has been since Valentines since I have given one of my conspiracy theories but here is yet another...M&M's. Note their motto: "Melts in your mouth, not in your hand." Is this true? No! I am sure there are times when it might be true but for anyone who has ever given M&M's to a child they know this is not in any form or fashion true! You give a child M&M's and the next thing you have is chocolate and little colors all over their face, shirt, hands, shorts, legs, arms, palms, your shirt, the carseat, the couch, the living room wall, the white linen table cloth Aunt Beatrice gave to your mother that was made by your great great great Swedish grandmother who never spoke English!
And why do you have this...because THEY MELTED IN THEIR HAND BEFORE THEY MADE IT TO THEIR MOUTH! and I don't solely blame children because even as an adult if you are eating the deliscious chocolate bites if you are not careful you will have little yellow, green, red, blue, brown, and orange sticky places on your palm from where the yummy candy was MELTING in your hand before you put it in your mouth. BUT...on to the conspiracy..I noted that perhaps the advertiser that came up with this wonderful idea did not have children and inhaled his (had to be a male) M&M's. Then I started thinking....perhaps...perhaps he/she (could be female now) did have children...and perhaps they actually knew they would melt in your hand and make mess because they have a contract with Clorox! AH HA! Oh yeah I can see it...
M&M advertiser: "Melts in your mouth not in your hands" ha ha suckers buy my candy and get it on your shirts...Clorox pays me every time you do!
Clorox associate: "Your whites will be whiter than ever!" ha ha suckers buy my clorox to get that chocolate off...rake in the money baby! I get free M&M's!

Do you see it? I think Skittles dove in on that as well once they figured it out...have you seen the mess those things can make? "Taste the rainbow" more like "Wear the rainbow!" Conspiracy...conspiracy....conspiracy!

Well alas I must stop my ranting for now, tis my last week at this job and I have to make sure everything is done :)

1 comment:

David said...

Ok, your's melt in your mouth because you rant about them too long before you eat them while they sit in your sweaty hand as you type. And you now want us to stop eating them by giving us this story so you can go buy all the M&M's at the store we didn't buy. That's my conspiracy theory. Lol, just kidding. Hey, like the changes! :)