Friday, January 13, 2006

Bug me not!

Many who have known this Imp for years will agree that I am somewhat of a tomboy. Ok I was very much a tomboy until my first year of college. Up until I graduated highschool I would not own or wear anything pink, could not stand any form or fashion of public displays of affection, could not stand mushy romance, played mud football, did not care what was "in fashion" and wore jeans/shorts with sweatshirt/tshirt, makeup was practically nonexistent and scrunchies were the best way to fix hair.


Of course some how Froofroo was able to take over for a while when college first started and the next thing the rest of us know we are paying a fortune for jeans that "flatter the figure" or something like that and we not only own pink items but we own multiple pink items and are wearing them! After we finally managed to abdicate Froofroo from this total takeover which turned into a girlygirl makeover the damage was done to an extent it could not all be taken back.

Now this Imp is back in charge and I must say for the whole group, excluding Froofroo, that we are still much tomboy...we have found a balance....mudfootball is still great, makeup is ok as long as it can be applied in a timely fashion that does not take away from how long we can sleep before we have to get up (Narco is adamant about this), public dispays of affection are still a touchy issue, Fashion is unfortunately incorporated into our closet, layers and straighteners now fix the hair, and mushy romance will never be accepted much to Froofroo's protest.



Now I have said all of that to tell you my bug story. Ha ha. Because of the tomboy side this Imp is not afraid of snakes, spiders, mice, etc. I do not particularly enjoy them but they do not make me do the "climb high and scream" motion. Only one bug gets to me and that is the cockroach or waterbug (the cockroaches cousin here in the south). That bug makes my skin crawl! I can't stand the sight of them and absolutely cannot stand to kill them except by spray.


The crunch, oh I am shuddering as I type this...goosebumps!....the crunch is like someone scratching their fingers down a chalkboard or scraping their teeth on a fork...it just makes me go...Uuuuuuggh!


I hate the feel and sound so much that as a child we had to stay in this seedy little motel because our car broke on vacation and the room had loose concrete under the carpet that felt like thousands of crunching cockroaches when you stepped on it. So I jumped from bed to bed and made my dad carry me in and out of the room. Had nightmares that night of the crunching...ugh! (Plus my brother made me watch Nightmare on Elm Street when parents went out for coffee)


Soooo needless to say my encounter with one of those hideous creatures yesterday was not fun! I had to go to the restroom and entered with confidence ignorant of the enemy that lay in waiting. I went about my business and was reaching for toilet paper when suddenly there he was, four inches of scaly, nasty, shiny, shudder inducing Periplaneta americana or in layman terms American cockroach! Needless to say I froze unable to breathe and immediately aware of my vulnerable state which could cause problems if he made any sudden moves.
He sat there unmoving, taunting with his long antennea as if he knew what just the sight of him did to me and knowing I am incapable of killing him because I have no spray and crunching is not an option.


Slowly I was able to properly finish what I had been doing before his appearance, the whole time my gaze fixed on his ugly little form and then BAM like a rocket I was out of there, shuddering and ughing violently out in the main area of the bathroom. I looked for spray in the cabinets hearing his little laugh coming from the stall as he knew he was winning...no spray was to be found. He must have scouted out the bathroom before his attack!


What do I do?? I cannot just flee and leave him alive to attack another unknowing female who was unfortunate enough to choose that stall. I cannot crunch and there is no spray! Frantically I searched my brain...he was skilled in his strategy....knowing this would throw the ever confident Imp in disarray.


I decided to exit the bathroom long enough to find spray rueing the time it would take because he would be able to redirect and create new strategy. Then...Behold!...a male came around the corner. He was quickly drafted into defense and sent forth into the bathroom to crunch, this Imp guarding the door so the nasty little thing couldn't escape( and for ethical reasons). Hooray the male killed him and I never even heard the crunch. Ha ha I triumphed in the end!

So despite some post trauma (checking the stall carefully for now on) the battle is won. The creature is dead and this Imp has reconfirmed a good use for males ;) (luv ya guys!)

1 comment:

Lani said...

Is the water bug anything like the palmetto bug, which when I squashed it once, I had to actually think about getting myself new shoes due to bug gut damage.