The Baby Journey with PCOS: Discovering Blueberry

So now I can finally blog about this!

 As I have mentioned before when you are ttc you are very aware of your cycle, where you are in it, when everything is supposed to happen and when you can test in hopes for that positive.

Our cycle in December had me Oing on Dec. 29^th or 30^th. Being one determined Momma-to-be, I wore poor Sexy Husband out with the baby dance. Towards the end of that time period, I am pretty sure whenever I mentioned baby dancing, Sexy Husband gave thought to running away.

TTCing definitely does take some of the romance out of baby dancing. I mean when you have to baby dance and you have to baby dance NOW it is not as spontaneous or romantic.

After it was all said and done around Dec. 31^st it was then time to ….wait. Again. I knew exactly which day in January I would be able to test to see if this time was successful, but until then all I could do was wait.

We had our New Year’s Eve party which is always fun, and the next weekend we headed to Atlanta for a gamefest we go to once a year with our boardgaming friends. Except I spent the whole weekend sleeping. I was so tired, drained completely. I refused to read anything into it because it was still too early to know and whenever I am starting to get sick, sleeping is my way of fighting it. So I figured I was just fighting off a cold or such.

Finally on January 10^th, I purchased some pregnancy tests and decided I was going to test the following morning. Upon arriving home, I could not wait so I took one of the regular tests I had bought and saved the digital for the next day.

Three minutes ticked by and I must say that having seen many negative tests over the last year or more, I really was expecting another negative…but wait, was that a faint second line?

No, it couldn’t be. I probably looked at the thing in four different rooms under different lighting. I could not believe it was positive. After more than a year of trying, I did not want to get my hopes up because of some faulty test or evaporation line. I finally decided I would wait until the next morning and take the digital.

At this point I must tell all TTCers out there: just go ahead and splurge to buy the digital. There is no guess work involved in the digital which comes in very handy at that moment of truth.

I did not say anything to Sexy Husband because I didn’t trust the test and wanted to wait until I had the digital. The next morning I got up and grabbed the digital test. Though this is TMI, I even peed in a Styrofoam cup so I could make sure that the test had plenty of pee. LOL

Then I waited, but something wasn’t right, the digital test’s blinking timer took forever to show up and then finally I got a “?”

WHAT?

I am the one asking the question, not the stupid test!

How did I manage to buy a digital test that didn’t work! AHHHHH! Determined I got dressed and on my way to The Mom’s house, I stopped and purchased another pack of digital, this time making sure there were two just in case. Lamenting the whole way to The Mom’s house about wasted FMU, I went in and demanded a disposable cup and headed straight for the bathroom.

I eeked and strained out a couple drops and prayed it would be enough for the test to function.

Blinking timer showing up immediately, I left the test on the counter and went to tell The Mom about the faulty test while waiting to see what the results of this test would be.

Yes! It said yes!

I always thought I would cry tears of excitement when I finally had a positive pregnancy test but no tears just slight disbelief. I could not quite trust that it had finally happened.

The Mom was excited but we decided to keep it mum until my appt. the next Monday when it would be confirmed. Luckily for me I already had an appt. set up with the fertility clinic as a follow-up for this last cycle.

The next thing was to tell Sexy Husband, but how?

Until Next Time....

The Baby Journey with PCOS: Sexy Husband needs to be a giraffe!

The week after Christmas, I went to the zoo with Sexy Husband's family. Now I love the zoo and will take any excuse to go so I was excited to be there plus the weather was absolutely gorgeous to be December.

As we neared one of my favorite animals, the giraffe, I noticed that one was following another around in a circle. The behind giraffe was being quite obnoxious with his continuous following and then it dawned on me what was going on in this area of the zoo!

Miss Giraffe was in heat and Mr. Giraffe was hoping to see some action! Now any other time I probably would have giggled like a schoolchild and moved on but since I am officially a TTCer then I had a whole new perspective on the activities before me.

I stared on in fascination wondering what exactly went on besides the basics in the making of a baby giraffe. Now all this time, before you think I am a big pervert for staring, Mr. Giraffe was still "chasing" (walking) Miss Giraffe around in a circle, every once in a while she would stop and he would think he had the green light then she would walk off again. Talk about a tease! Poor Mr. Giraffe!

Luckily for me, there was one of the main giraffe keepers sitting right there! I struck up a conversation about how it all went down and if they were hoping for the two to actually mate. Oh did I learn a myriad of information.

• Miss Giraffe ovulates every 14 days but only for one day
• Mr. Giraffe has to woo her to get her to even be still long enough for him to see action
• BUT Mr. Giraffe only has to make it in ONE time (tried to put this delicately) and it is almost 100% positive Miss Giraffe will get pregnant!

WHOA!! WHAT?

ONE time and he is DONE?

As a woman I feel sorry for Miss Giraffe because she doesn't get much fun time but as a TTCer I feel jealous that it happens so quickly and at a pretty fail-proof rate!


Oh Miss Giraffe, you big tease, if only you knew how easy you had it!

Until next time...

Things not to say to a woman trying to conceive (especially those who have been trying over a year)

So I have discovered a few sayings that make me want to rip people's arm off and beat them over the head with it when they say them to me. I will share since I am sure many TTCers share my peeviness.


"Your time will come" -really? you think? no we just have been trying all this for the heck of it, we dont really think our time will come! yes, thank you, our rational side is very aware that our time will come but this is one of the last things we want to hear at this moment.

"If you will just relax it will happen" - really? it is extremely hard not to think about the subject when every morning you have to wake up, take your temp, chart it and make sure that you know when you are going to ovulate so you can tie up your husband for three days so that nothing can get in the way of baby dancing. only to then have to wait two weeks to even see if tying your husband was worth the hassle!

From an expectant mother: "we weren't really trying" - well flippideedoda you fertile myrtle! Can you give me a play by play of what "not really trying" is because obviously this "trying" crap isn't working!

"I have heard it is easier to get pregnant at a healthy weight" Thank you very much for calling me fat in a roundabout jerk of a way. Oh yes, these extra 30 lbs that I have around my midsection that make me look pregnant even though I am not are just practice to get me ready for when "my time comes and I relax!" It is the latest craze to become almost obese before getting pregnant, haven't you heard? 
OF COURSE I KNOW I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT, you flapperjack, tell that to my STUPID HORMONES that made me gain the weight in the first place!

"You are young, you have plenty of time" yes, I know many women who did not have children until almost forty or even at forty, but they all (the ones I know) did not get married until a short time before that so I'm sorry if I dont want ten years of marriage before we have children.

Any complaint whatsoever from a pregnant woman - look you fertile myrtle, if you want to live to have that baby you better shut up that complainng around me. I would kill to have your nausea, swollen ankles and back ache. Just because you were relaxed and not really trying when your time came doesn't mean you can complain about it around those of us who are still barren.


Despite my somewhat caustic, and hormonal responses to the above things it is very painful for those who have been trying for a while to hear these. Especially when you are doing everything you can to get pregnant and your time hasn't come, you feel broken, you wonder what is wrong with you that you couldn't "not really try" and succeed. You look at other pregnant women, or women with multiple children and cannot help but compare and say "what did they have or do that i didn't or can't?" Two weeks by agonizing two weeks you hope and pray only to discover your failure.

So if you are a parent then remember to thank God that "your time came" or if you are like me and still waiting, don't give up hope, you are not alone!


Until next time....

The Baby Journey with PCOS: An Update

I have not written about the baby journey since August. No I am not pregnant yet which is probably one of the reasons why I have not updated.

August was my first round of Clomid and after psyching myself out with fake symptoms, I was told I did not ovulate and so the next round I told myself I was not going to over-analyze it and so no symptoms presented themselves and again I did not ovulate.

It was mid September before I started the second round so after it was finished I decided that instead of doing the third and final round with my OBGYN that I wanted to head on to the fertility clinic. If the third round did not work I would have to go there anyway.

Sexy Husband and I went on December 5th to the fertility clinic. They gave me a progesterone shot to get my cycle to start then ordered another round of Clomid. SH had to have an analysis, poor guy, can we say awkward! for him.

I love the Dr. He is so great, very nice, with a slightly dry sense of humor which I like. He said that of the couples he had seen lately we were the "Most Likely to Conceive" I felt like I was back in highschool for a moment with the who's who! Instead of "Most Likely to Succeed" we were the "Most Likely to Conceive" ha!

Dr. S, as we will call him, said that once I started my period to call and schedule a "Dye Test" which is where they inject dye into the uterus and X-ray to make sure the fallopian tubes are not blocked.

I will tell you about the dye test, and catch you up to today, tomorrow! Ha! For now I need coffee....

Until next time...

The Baby Journey with PCOS Series Starter

Ever since I was thirteen I have wanted to be a mother. I have talked about my baby itch on here before and though I have had times where it was not strongly present, I have never been able to dispel it completely.

I originally said I would not tell people when we started trying because of the constant questions of "are you pregnant yet?" and just the added pressure of people knowing.

But then I found out that I have PCOS, which is polycystic ovary syndrome. For those unfamiliar here is a formal definition:

"Polycystic ovary syndrome: Abbreviated PCOS. Polcystic ovary syndrome is a condition in women characterized by irregular or no menstrual periods, acne, obesity, and excess hair growth. PCOS is a disorder of chronically abnormal ovarian function and hyperandrogenism (abnormally elevated androgen levels). It affects 5-10% of women of reproductive age. PCOS is also called the Stein-Leventhal syndrome.

Women with PCOS do not ovulate -- they do not release an egg every month -- and they are at significantly higher risk for high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, and cancer of the uterus (endometrial cancer). Much of this risk can be reversed by exercise and weight loss."

Most women would not share such info much less blog about it, but I have thought long and hard and decided to blog about my/our journey.

Why?

Because I believe that one of the greatest things about the internet is the support system you can obtain. If you have a problem or situation where once you might feel like the only one in the world, you can now go to the internet and find at least one other person (but usually way more) that is going or has gone through the same thing.

The important key of this "internet support" system is the "open book" people. People, like me, who don't mind sharing all the intimate details of their ups and downs so that others can be encouraged and gain knowledge of different subjects.

So with that said I shall start this series about our baby journey in hopes that it will indeed help someone out there going through the same thing.

Until Next Time....