Dear Lady in cubicle number six,
There is absolutely no need to yell on the land-line phone which you use at your desk. The people in the surrounding counties have no need or desire to hear your conversations even though they are about work.
We are well aware that you know how to whisper given that you do so when gossiping with someone who has come to visit you in your cubicle. We would ask that you utilize this while on the phone as well. It would be beneficial to the work and health of those surrounding you. Also it would be beneficial to your health because it would decrease the desire for someone to cut out your vocal chords.
As a side note, we would also like to request that you check your voicemail messages with the hand-held part to your ear and not on speakerphone. We do not need to know that your forty-seventh meeting has been cancelled for the day.
We hope you take this friendly note as a helpful encouragement which will increase productivity in the workplace.
You Cube-Hell Mates