I am not a morning person. I have never been a morning person. No one in my family is a morning person. Tis a curse in our minds to be a morning person. And because of that I loathe alarm clocks.
I was reading Dorky Dad yesterday and it seems that he and I share a common superpower: Alarm clock resistance.
I have had various alarm clocks over the years. One of my least favorites was The Mom alarm clock. Now I am not saying I don't like The Mom but you cannot hit The Mom or unplug The Mom or mutter expletives at The Mom like you can other alarm clocks.
Noooo all you could do is groan as she came in singing "Oh let the sunshine in, face it with a grin..." I am getting the heebie jeebies now just typing out that song! Ugh...shudder!
And she would open your blinds and you would have about 5.3 seconds to bury under the covers before they were whisked off of you totally obliterating any warm cocoon spot you had been incubating all night. Yes I must say The Mom is perfect in every other way (safety clause) but she is the worst sort of alarm clock!
The second worst alarm clock is the standard beep beep beep sound that all digital alarm clocks make. Ohhh that sound causes me physical pain! I cannot even stand to hear it in movies! Just thinking about it makes me shudder and want to put my hand over my ears and start singing "Its A Small World" over and over again!
Ok maybe not "Its A Small World" but I would be screaming something I am sure. That beeping sound should be used as a torture device. I worry that if terrorists ever stole me and tried to get me to give them the secrets to Magic Cookie Bars then all they would have to do is use that beeping noise and I would talk! It is a scary, scary thing.
So no beeping for me, no more The Mom nowadays I have two alarms set 30 minutes apart with music to blare. One by the bed and one across the room. One blares the Christian station, the other blares the oldies station.
And...I am still resistant!
The only thing scarier is that Sexy Boyfriend's powers are even stronger than mine!
Oy what are we going to do when we are married?
I think I will have to double the alarm clocks!